Family jokes
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Why does an orphan commit a crime?
Because it wants to be wanted.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!