Family jokes
Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Louie being born.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
I sleek the truth to my mom...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
Your mom gay.