Family jokes
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.