Family jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is!

Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?

Because his last parents existed.

Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orphan.

Orphan who?

Are you my mommy?

10 dicks up your mom's ass!

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

Who are you?

Oh, I'm an orphan!

Oh... bye! :/

Mommy, why is my name Brick???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

Mommy, why is my name Rose???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

What's the difference between you and your mom?

I slept with your mom.

If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.

The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"