Family jokes
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.