Family jokes

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.

What do orphans call their parents?

Unicorns because they don’t exist.

What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?

PG movies.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?

Self-raising.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.

It doesn’t have a home button.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because no one misses them.

My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.