Family jokes
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't see home.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*