Family jokes
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
Mom! (DYM 10)
Memes
it’s so fun
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
Mom! (DYM 7)
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it does not have a home page.
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Mom!
Mom! (DYM 22)
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Mom!
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.