Family jokes
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
Me at the dinner table
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Orphan, sorry.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!