Family jokes
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t have a home to go to.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they didn’t have a home.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?