Family jokes

Why do orphans rob the bank?

Because they want to be wanted.

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

What do orphans get on Xmas?

Lonely.

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Not to get home, that's for sure.

Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.