Family

Family jokes

Orphan

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Orphan

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

Memes

Condom

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

Milk

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

Morgue

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

Orphan

Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?

Because it doesn't have a home button.

Orphan

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

Gay

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Dad

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.

Liar

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

Orphan

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!