Family jokes
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
Why can't orphans have a computer?
They don't have a home page.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."