Family jokes
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
What did the mom say to the baby?
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
My mom
Your mom dot com.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.