Family jokes
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Just ask your dad.
Orphans don't like "Family Feud."
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go to home plate.
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
There's no one to call "daddy."
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Your hairline goes so far back your dad didn't leave.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.