Family jokes

Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why can't orphans play games?

Parents signed.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Hey guys, I'm back. I was grounded by my grandfather, so, yeah.

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

What is an orphan's favorite event?

Homecoming.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.