Family jokes
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.