Family jokes
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have nowhere to run home.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.