Family jokes
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can’t see their parents.
Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.