Family jokes
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Knock knock. Who is there?
I don't know.