Family jokes

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Why aren't orphans gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't go home.

Why can't an orphan have a phone?

Because they will see a home.

How many foster parents does each orphan have?

One half.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?

"I am orphan!"

"You are bowling ball!"

Orphans got me like: 😂

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

Because he does not know where home is.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.