Family jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

What is an orphan's first phone?

An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?

It has no home button :D

Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father!"

Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.

What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

Why do orphans hate baseball so much?

Because they can't run home.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't go home.

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

I smacked an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?