Family jokes
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
Memes
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.