Family jokes

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can’t see their parents.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?

One is wanted and one's not.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

You're adopted.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

Why do orphans play GTA? They finally wanted a family.

According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because at least they can be wanted!

Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?

Because their parents can't!

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.