Family jokes
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can’t see their parents.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.