Family jokes
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Memes
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.