Family jokes
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Memes
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.