Social comparison jokes

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.