What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
I pregnoot.
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
