Family jokes
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
Memes
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
Your mom is hot.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.