Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Ur dad is gay!
Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.
I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
