Family jokes

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

Your mum isn't home.

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.

AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!

Why can't orphans go on a field trip?

They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆

If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

What’s an orphan's favorite game?

Catch.

Why can't orphans have friends?

They will stay together.

You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Alabama.

Alabama who?

Alabama your cousin.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he gets to call someone father.

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.