Family jokes
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What do you call your mom? Gay.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.