Family jokes
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
I have a dad.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Why do orphans play baseball?
So they can touch home.
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Yo momma!
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.