Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.