Family jokes

Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.

Orphans get family-sized chips for free.

How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

At what point does a joke become a dad joke?

When it disappears and never returns home.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They ain't got no home to run to.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel has family.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising...

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.