Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can’t hit a home run.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.