Family jokes
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
No Words
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.