Family jokes
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!