Family jokes
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?
They don't have a home to run to.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.