Family jokes
Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.
In tennis, 0 points is love.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!