Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Family Jokes
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, âOh no! My momâs gonna kill me!â
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
BlessedBrianâs momâs birth certificate is a COLLECTORâS ITEM.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesnât beat you.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
