Family jokes
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.