Family jokes

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Do you love me?

No, Papa.

#### you!

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?

Because they’ve got guardians!

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

Yo mama!

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.