Family jokes
All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.