Family jokes

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

Your mom and your dad.

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because there was a dad on the other side.

Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

What instrument do orphans play?

The sax alone.