Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.