Family jokes
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.