Family jokes
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?
A: "I'm calling your parents!"
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a home page!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.