Family jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.