Family jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?

The mailman goes home at the end of the day.

How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?

Homemade.

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.