Family

Family jokes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

Forest

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

Orphan

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

Dad

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

Orphan

Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?

A: Because they can't find home.

Orphan

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Orphan

The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.

Basement

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

Orphan

Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?

Because they’ve got guardians!

Mom

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

Orphan

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.

Bitch

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"