Family jokes

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

Knock knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Not your parents.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A self-portrait.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.

What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

How did the digital clock show off to its mother?

Look, Ma, no hands!

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.