Family jokes
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Memes
why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."