Family jokes
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
Why don't orphans have a site page?
Because there's no home page.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.