Family jokes
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."