Family jokes

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

Puppies actually get picked.

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.

Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.

What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Why can't orphans be criminals?

Because they're not wanted.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me!

It's not incest if you're adopted.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.