Family jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.