Family jokes
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Dad, I hate you!
Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t run to home.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.