Family jokes
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.