Family jokes
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Ur mum homo.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.