I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Family Jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Why couldnβt the orphan run away from home?
Because it didnβt have one.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
Police: Come with me, Iβm taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I donβt need to take you home.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
What should orphans do when their parents arenβt there? The usual.
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
