Family jokes
I made a website for orphans.
There’s no homepage.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.