Family jokes

What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?

His little brother with the console.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Why can't orphans have cookies?

They are home made.

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button!

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

Where can white people cook better than Black people?

On Father’s Day.

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."

Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.

I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.

I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.

What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.

What do you call an orphan family? None existent.

Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?

They don't know what a house is.

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.