Family jokes
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Memes
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
Why do all orphans have iPhone 10-12?
They don't have a home button.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!