Family jokes

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?

Your virginity.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.

"What's she like?" he asked the boy.

"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?

So he could be wanted.

I just killed a family of five.

Now I’m an orphan.

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.