Family jokes
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Why did the orphan commit a bank robbery?
So he could be wanted.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.