Family jokes
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.