Family jokes
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
My dad left me.
How do you know an orphan is telling the truth?
When they swear on their mother's grave!
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)
I fucked your mom.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.