Family jokes
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”