Family jokes
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...