Family jokes
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?