Family jokes

Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

Why did the orphan become a killer?

Because he knew they would not look for him.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

I like telling dad jokes.

He laughs at most of them.

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.

I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.

Onions was such a good dog!

Q. What type of flour do orphans get?

A. Self-raising flour.

What does a transgender call his/her parent?

Transparent.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.