Family jokes

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

What does an orphan call a family photo?

A wishlist.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?