Family jokes
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Why can't orphans have gay sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
My parents love me.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.