Family jokes

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.