Family jokes

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?

One of them is used.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Why are orphans so good at GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.