Family jokes

Q. Why do orphans love elevators?

A. Because they're the only things to raise them.

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."