Family jokes
The F in orphans stands for family...
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.