Family jokes
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
The F in orphans stands for family...
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!