Family jokes
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.