Family jokes
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know what a home base is.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.