Family jokes
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
Your mom.
Hi, Dad.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.