Family jokes
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
You and your mom.
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
My family.