Family

Family jokes

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?

His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!

When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.