Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.
Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.