What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
what is the difference between juice wrld and a orphan A:one is loved by all
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
