Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Want to know how joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
What does the f in orphan stand for- FAMILY😭😭 *ITS DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Your mom!
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
