Family

Family jokes

Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

A: One of them gets picked.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

Orphan: Let's play baseball!

Girl: No, you can't.

Orphan: Why?

Girl: Because you can't find home.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?