Family jokes
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is! 🤣
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they have no home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.