Family

Family jokes

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

A: One of them gets picked.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.