My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
