Family jokes
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"