Family jokes
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They won't be able to find home.