Family

Family jokes

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?

Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.