Family jokes
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Beans, your mum is fat!
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
Q) What’s the difference between an apple and an Orphan? A) Apples always get picked.
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?
So the orphans can see their parents.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they will tell their parents.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.